Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Back in the Swing

At least a little bit.

Looks like this work study might very possibly work out. Which is great. At least I know where I'm practicing for the next month or so. It's a start, right?

More importantly, feel like I've finally settled into things a bit. One teacher always reminded us, "Every day, life is different, so every day, your yoga class is different." Well, when everything changes in the space of 3-5 days, let me tell you, your yoga practice can get all kinds of wonky. But it felt great tonight. Sweaty, slightly crazy, maybe missing a few poses, but for the most part, I was up and going. That's all I ask for.

I miss having my challenge, though. If anything, it's more of a challenge now. Because the only reason to go is for myself, not to fulfill some imaginary challenge. And I don't have the time to go everyday. I try to get up for those 6:30am classes and just can't bring myself to do it. Maybe one day, but right now, not in my practice. In any case, I'm still going consistently and that's all anyone can ask for. I'm grateful this yoga is still a part of my life!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

And sometimes...

So tonight, I finally felt like I was practicing again. I sat out, I may have ended poses early, but I got through all of them at least once. It's a practice. Some days, your practice sucks. Other days, it's all right. Sometimes, you finally experience the fruits of always practicing. This was probably one of the middle days, but it was nice.

Yoga has taught me to be more content with change. I came in with a very open, flexible, and strong spine. I have my movement teachers at NYU to thank for that. Now, though, I think I'm starting to build new muscles or really dig deeper. The spine strengthening series and backbending were never easy postures, but I always felt comfortable, like I could really push in them. I'm still pushing, but it's a whole hell of a lot harder currently. Good sign? Hopefully. If not, I'll get through it, and on to the next struggle.

Monday, September 5, 2011

The Funk

I'm in a weird moment right now. I'm calling it a Yoga Funk. My practice has kind of....well, gone to shit is the expression that comes to mind. I feel like I'm not breathing, I'm not focused. It's like I'm barely trying but still exhausted and unable to complete poses. I keep have temper tantrums. My last bikram class was on Saturday, and I actually had to sit down on the sidewalk because I thought I was going to throw up all over the street or possibly pass out. Today, I woke up feeling slightly queasy, so I went to Yoga to the People instead. 60 minute class, not heated, thought it might be a nice change. Same stuff. Couldn't stay in poses, couldn't even pick myself up off the mat sometimes.

I don't know what's up, if I should be concerned, or if this is all part of the journey. I guess I find it concerning because this is something I do/go to consistently. It is my daily practice, my own version of a religion or a spirituality, so I wonder what this funk is speaking to. I'm assuming it's the big change in location/diet/lifestyle/surroundings/everything that moving back to school brings my way. In my yogic mind, this is just another challenge to move through, a bend in the path. But on the other hand, I'm kind of sick of it and would like to get back in the swing of things. Like come on.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Yoga Tantrum Take 2

I wrote at some point during the 60 day challenge about having a yoga tantrum. Had another one today, embarrassingly at a new studio where I'm applying to be a work study. Oops. Hopefully, they'll understand that my spine strengthening series fits don't mean I'm bad to work with...

I think because I'm still so freaking new at this, different rooms are affecting me a lot more than they might affect a more experienced practitioner. I went from one studio for about 62 classes to suddenly three totally different rooms in three days. All three of them were heated differently, different locations, different teachers, different classmates. The room today was heated from above AND from the floor, I believe. I think the room was actually a great temperature, but I couldn't seem to get used to it. I actually ended up just laying there in savasana for pretty much everything after we got off our bellies. I just couldn't stop feeling incredible anger surging through me. Like I was going to scream at someone for no reason...Not pretty.

There's also just been so much change since Sunday. I've moved into a new apartment that gets no natural light. At first, I didn't think that would affect me all that much, but it's actually really strange living in eternal night. New York is never all that sunny to begin with, but it's so weird looking out and always seeing a dark airshaft. I'm thinking I might just need to take tomorrow off and enjoy the city, rather than run around and get to yoga. I think it was part of my tantrum today-being in New York for almost a week and not really bothering to enjoy myself in it.

Granted, I say this now but could feel differently in the morning. We'll just have to see what happens.

Positives: I am mastering the art of washing sweaty yoga clothes in a bathtub. My stuff actually smells pretty fresh right now. Oh, and I'm finally doing the first breathing exercise right. Who knew?